Monday, September 12, 2005

I'm Reborn!!

I never thought it would happen. Having been an atheist all my life, I have finally seen the light. When I was a kid, I had Christianity forced so hard down my throat that it hurt. I felt abused, raped and humiliated. I hate being treated like an idiot. The moral standards of christian's seemed non existant. I was a smart kid, because as I grew up, I realised that that they are indeed non-existant. Christianity is about hate, exclusion and bigotry. But I have finally found a religion I can be comfortable with, a religion I can die for. And die happily at that.

Here is what convinced me:

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

* Flimsy moral standards.
* Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
* Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

The flimsy moral standard thing is true with all religions so that did not turn the tide. Friday being a religious holiday is cool and all, but hey, I take Fridays off anyway (along with Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and sunday) so that's not a deal maker. But heaven with strippers and beer? Yeah, baby, you got me by the short and curlys on that one. Hookers would be a step better, but this is heaven after all, one must not be too picky and decadent.

I'm reborn, I'm converted, rock the fuck on. You too can have everlasting life with strippers and beer. Go here and get it on. Be happy in this life, and happier in the afterlife.

FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

Bow down, bitch.

1 Comments:

Blogger nigel said...

i dont know what it was that you had forced down your throat but it wasnt christianity
i can assure you jesus does work
when you realy find him

10:37 AM  

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